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Hall’s Peace Plan

30 Friday Nov 2012

Posted by in Career, Creative Solutions, Culture, Lifestyle, Unemployment

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Over Thanksgiving my 12 year old niece was going on and on about how all over the world young people are unable to find jobs. From Spain to the Middle East to my living room college educated men and women are just sitting around in cafes, too poor to get married or have kids, fighting and bitching and having ideas…and as my Daddy always said(he was 95 when he married my mom so he passed away the day I was conceived) “Ideas are only the business of the government and Averell Harriman.”

So then I thought about all my sad, single, jobless and childless friends(NO I AM NOT ANY OF THESE THINGS. I HAVE A BOYFRIEND, A TOY POWDER DOODLE,THIS WEBSITE AND A PRESCRIPTION FOR ABILIFY ORAL) and I felt what my therapist tells me is em-pa-thy. And most importantly- I have a solution. It may stop wars and it may just stop my friend Alice-Caradee from calling me every two hours. Either way I think I deserve this.

I would prefer platinum if it isn’t to much to ask…

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The wonderful world of Artichokes

11 Thursday Oct 2012

Posted by in Creative Solutions, Culture, Dining, Lifestyle, Style

≈ 2 Comments

I know most of you dear Peaches think of me as an aesthetically based foodie, learner and spouse picker. But I also consider myself a practical anthomaniac (real term: find it on this handy list). What is this you ask? I’ll give you a hint- another name for it is FLORAMANIA!!!!This means whenever possible I like to use flowers—to rub on my body, to sprinkle in my bath and to eat. Sadly, my court ordered nutritionist recently informed me  that sunflower seeds and dandelion leaves can only sustain a rabbit sized human and I am the size of a grandpa wrestling alligator. This is why I was so pleased to learn that Artichokes, those scaly crocodile-like globs of mush, are not only antioxidant powerhouses- they are also perennial thistles- or in layman terms, FLOWERS!

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Hall’s Engagement Announcement

25 Tuesday Sep 2012

Posted by in Creative Solutions, Culture, Lifestyle, Relationships, Style

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Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh, GOLLY GEE, GOLLY GEE!

Sadness? WHAT SADNESS? Trader Joe’s induced meltdown? WHAT MELTDOWN? All is bright in the world, the sun is shining like a 10 in clarity non-conflict diamond, my pimples are beauty marks a’ la Cindy Crawford and the floor isn’t laminated pressed wood but actual colonial era mahogany sanded by expert Peruvian hands…

HAMILTON ASKED ME WHAT KIND OF RING I’D LIKE!

The loveseat where it happened! (Yes, that is a lady size gun in the vase. No you don’t need to worry about it)

Me! Ring! Me!

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Sick Room Chic

05 Wednesday Sep 2012

Posted by in Creative Solutions, Culture, Lifestyle, Style

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I’ve have been taking a little rest for the past two weeks at an exclusive bed and breakfast(if it has a bed and it serves breakfast- it’s a B&B!) at a very good address. This giant complex of heaven, nestled in the heart of Beverly Hills, is a mid-century wonder with amazing all white decor and a clean, antiseptic smell. In fact it was so relaxing I didn’t want to leave!

Britney Spears stayed in the same wing as me in 2008! Talk about V-I-P!

Many other folks with taste, discrimination and a penchant for soft walls have fallen in love with this storied hotel. Some so much they never did leave! Here is a partial list of the people who have breathed their last at Cedars-

Lucille Ball, Frank Sinatra, Gilda Radner, Biggie Smalls, Eva Gabor, Henry Fonda, River Phoniex,  Johnny Carson, Ernest Borgnine, Don Knotts…

Pretty good company right? Jordan and Kristene have been absolute dolls bringing me Chanel #5 to sniff and the September issue of Vogue to scrutinize and I think I am this close into guilting Hammy into finally giving me that ring. But after my doctors finally decided I was “exaggerating” those nightly terrors I was sent on my way with a gift bag full of pills and a revolutionary revelation that I want to share with all our readers.

SICKNESS=ATTENTION

Look how much those demons dig her. I am so jelly.

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Hall’s 1st book proposal(written while under supervised sedation at Cedars)

22 Wednesday Aug 2012

Posted by in Career, Culture, Lifestyle

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WutheringHeightsland

Spunky Miami ad exec Emily Whiteperson is sick of her go-go, sun-infused life. She finds herself increasingly bored with the nice, mentally stable guys she meets volunteering with under-privileged youths on the beach, teaching them to surf. None of them can live up to her true fantasy man, Heathcliff of Wuthering Heights. So she is thrilled when she hears about WutheringHeightsland, an unheated farmhouse on the moors of England where actors pretend to be scurvy ridden stable boys, pansy demi-aristocrats and sociopathic landowners of the era Wuthering Heights was supposed to be set in! Emily throws caution and her toothbrush to the wind, and heads out to England to find that depressive, self-absorbed soul mate that might make dying in childbirth not so bad after all.

Wait an 18th century minute…this isn’t South Beach!

 

Things to buy at Trader Joe’s when you are sad

12 Sunday Aug 2012

Posted by in Dining, Entertaining, Lifestyle

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Sometimes I feel like no one understands me. I am an aesthetically active progressively moneyed activist artistic hipster-prep. I don’t love to eat, but I love the packaging that things come in. I am drawn towards bright colors, but they shouldn’t be too bright for I am not a child(no matter what my parents and Hammy say)! I prefer my food organic and locally sourced, but I don’t particularly know what organic means or where “local” is- after all everywhere is local somewhere, you know what I mean?

These should be extremely local. As in frequently pressed in my hand whatever locale I happen to be in. And no, not just on anniversaries or late night emergency room visits.

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How to cheat discreetly(a hypothetical how-to aimed at no one in particular…)

05 Sunday Aug 2012

Posted by in Lifestyle

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Cheating is so hot right now. Kristen Stewart, hello sweet child. I feel you. I have always enjoyed your expressionless face, it’s like you’ve been botoxing since you were ten- a practice I both advocate and adore. But darling little scowling vampire, where you went wrong is this. You didn’t cheat with style. All the great cheaters-  Henry VIII and Anne Boleyn, Liz Taylor and Richard Burton, me and Dr. Drew(a girl can dream…and she totally is…) both sinned and sassed. So next time you and that rabbit-toothed director want to get naughty, throw out that dirty sweatshirt and follow my simple, purely pretend Hammy-don’t-worry-it-can-all-be-fixed-with-a ring-guide to Adultery Accessorized.

I suggest taking notes.

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What Hall Ate: Summer Corn Recipe

23 Monday Jul 2012

Posted by in Creative Solutions, Dining, Entertaining, Lifestyle, Unemployment

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As an acutely aesthetically sensitive person, colors are of primary importance to me.  I am unable to wear sunglasses because the muted tones scare me(plus I have the head circumference of a five year old-thanks aristocratic genes!) and for many years lived on a diet of Easter M&M’s and Gatorade, because the pastel colors of the chocolates soothed me and the electric colors of the electrolyte-enhanced drink electrified me(alliteration!).

LOL. She has bunny ears.

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Thrifty Thinking with Hall

12 Thursday Jul 2012

Posted by in Creative Solutions, Lifestyle

≈ 1 Comment

Nothing says progressive fashionista like a pair of TOMS shoes. I think of them as the Beanie Babies of the socially and stylishly conscious. But at an average $48 bucks a pair, and with so many different colors and styles to collect, what self-respecting girl living on her boyfriends/parents weekly allowance can afford them all? Thankfully part of my college curriculum was studio art 101, and I got a B-. So join me as I make my own pair of personalized TOMS for a fraction of the cost and a freight-load of the fun!

One pair of CVS shoes:$12.95. All purpose craft jar:$19.99. Pack of markers:$4.50. Cinderella bows:$3.25. Princess glue stick 3-pack: $2.95. Anti-anxiety medication:Priceless.

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Hall’s Heroes (the alive edition)

04 Wednesday Jul 2012

Posted by in Creative Solutions, Culture, Dining, Entertaining, Lifestyle

≈ 1 Comment

In 1974, conceptual artist Judy Chicago created her seminal, girl-power instillation “The Dinner Party.” A giant banquet table was laid out with thirty-nine hand-made, individualized place settings for women that rocked, like man-eater Eleanor of Aquitaine and romantic Emily Dickinson. The only problem? These ladies are a tad too intellectual for my taste (a chat with Hildegard of Bingen or the “Primordial Goddess”? No thanks.) and also…they are all dead.

Image

This is Chicago’s place for Sappho. If I hand-scaped a setting for Kristine, there would be a bottle of Jack, a ceramic shot glass and a plate with a painted picture of a computer opened to Match.com.

I really love the idea of women who I admire getting together to eat, drink and inspire me. So here are my top 7 modern day lady heroes, whose guidance and blogs I could not live without.

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